Ramblings...

~Dr. Marcus Borg, one of the foremost Jesus and New Testament Scholars of our time, is coming to the church I attend this weekend. I am pretty stoked...when you get a chance to hear someone of this magnitude - even if it is an all-weekend event - you take it...

~Working at the state legislature has been an exhausting but very eye opening and educational experience...too bad I can't find many legislators with an IQ above room temperature...

~I am quite put out by the fact that many of the people who use my gym are couples. How are you supposed to check out the hottie action if you are worried that the hottie's boyfriend or husband (this is more than often the case in SLC, no matter the age)will see you and come beat you up? This is a problem that needs to be addressed.

There a couple of these couples (HA!) that I want to talk about in detail:

There are two different couples who share weight. What I mean by this is there are two different couples who work out together, sharing barbells and such, and the weight never changes. The girl lifts the same weight as the guy. This is funny to me.

There is also an elderly couple that comes. The woman is probably 60 years old, but looks 233. She lifts more than me. The husband looks about 60 and benches about that much too. This could be a cartoon. A hilarious cartoon.

~ I am thinking of growing a soul patch. If I start now it might fill in nicely before I leave Salt Lake.

~ Two of my DCT shows ended in surprise wedding proposals last week. I can hardly wait until Wednesday and Thursday night this week...so exciting! The best part is one of the shows ended in two surprise proposals! I'm really not that excited. Especially since one of the proposees was my girl Lyla Garrity...

~ Last weekend, which officially sucked without football to watch (not that I didn't have other crap to do, I just had no reason to slack). I was a little peeved at the so-called worldwide leader in sports, ESPN, who allowed a host to say football-free weekend instead of football-less. Football-free made it sound like a relief. A ladies basketball-free weekend would be a relief...

~ Diet drinks aren't too bad...but I sure miss my kool-aid. I'm pretty sure it misses me too.

~ Sorry I'm so busy...I don't even think I'm funny on this thing anymore...wait...nope, not funny...

~ Oh, and GO PEYTON! I can't believe I really like an athlete because of his commercials, but before the first Mastercard commercial he was just another Vol...now he's my homie...

Wow

I'm a little embarassed to admit it, but I have been too sore to type since last Monday - when I joined the gym.

I almost swore not to join Gold's Gym, as I called to inquire about their prices before Christmas and they tricked me into giving them my phone number..."can we get your number in case you get disconnected?" "oh yeah...sure, I'm a naive sucker". Jerks. So...I got about 10 calls from them after that night...hard sales. I suck at rejecting hard sales. Is it sales or sells? I don't know...

But anyways, I thought I had an "in" to another, nicer gym, but that fell through. So, the next time Gold's called I suckered them into waiving my membership fee - the up front one that is - and their monthly fees are quite reasonable, like 28 dollars or so. So, now I belong to Gold's Gym.

When I went to set up my membership, the guy who helped me was really nice - almost too nice. He offered to give me a free personal trainer session, which I later found out is standard, and the following coversation ensued:

Me: No thanks, I don't want to resent someone every time I see them.
Awkwardly nice man (ANM): Oh, but it will benefit you so much. You'll learn how to use all of the machines and which exercises will help you cut weight faster.
Me: Well, I used to work out pretty heavy, so I know most of that stuff.
ANM: Okay, so what is your objective in joining?
Me: I want to lose a little weight.
ANM: Tell me what your daily eating habits are.
Me: (I told him)
ANM: Instead of the personal trainer, why don't we set you up an appointment with our dietician (who just happened to run the supplement store).

Note: dietician can be spelled either this way or as dietitian...blows my mind...

So, that was a little embarassing. But, I know I didn't eat too much.

The "dietician" gave me a diet plan. I put dietician in parentheses because I'm pretty sure he is just some dude who works in the supplement store on commission. The diet looked like this:

Breakfast: 6 hard-boiled egg whites, cup of oatmeal
Mid-morning: Protein Shake
Lunch: Turkey sandwich on whole grain bread with lettuce
Mid afternoon: Protein Shake
Dinner: Chicken breast, green salad
Before bed: Protein Shake

So, I don't follow this. I was close to following it before a co-worker told me that the "dietician" probably works on commission, and just being mindful of what I eat will be better.

The one thing the "dietician" did do was schedule me an appointment with a personal trainer - thus the soreness...

Now, every time I see the personal trainer, mean words come to my head.

Television

One of the challenges with my two New Years Resolutions - working out 6 days a week and reading for educational purposes two hours every day - is finding time to also watch the television shows that I have gotten into. It actually won't be that much of a challenge, as there are only a few shows that I watch every week...and they just happen to be spread out on different nights.

So, I present to you, my beloved readers, the "don't call times" for this winter season. "Don't call times" means if my cell phone goes off, I won't answer it. Don't believe me? I recently found out that two of my friends got engaged over the holiday season. One of them called last Thursday during the "don't call time," also known as the hour during which Grey's Anatomy is on, and I ignored the call, even though I knew the news they bore was BIG. Note, I did call them back after the show. So, consider me out of reach during the following times.

Monday: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - one of the best shows I've watched in a long time, seriously, I laugh. I cry. Actually, i don't think I've cried yet - but it's an Aaron Sorkin show so I'm sure thats not too far off. Don't call time (DCT) is 9pm to 10 pm, Mountain Time.

Tuesday: American Idol - of course I'm going to watch it. And it is going to be a challenge to watch this in it's entirety and get my work out/reading in. The first few weeks will be two-hour shows and then it'll start being on Wednesday, which might cramp my style with my Wed. night show. On the plus side I'll get to fall in love with another contestant and Katharine McPhee will probably get a reprieve from my fan mail. Wait, I've never sent her fan mail...that must be why she hasn't reciprocated my love...DCT = Tuesdays, 7pm - 9pm (for a couple weeks, then 7-8pm) Mountain Time.

Wednesday: Friday Night Lights - I know this might confuse you, but even though it's called Friday Night Lights, it comes on on Wednesdays. This is just a great teenager soap opera show. And Lyla Garrity is super hot. But I'm torn in saying that Lyla Garrity is super hot for several reasons. I will outline them here.



1. I'm sure that the actress portraying Lyla is much older than the character, but the character is only a senior in high school - meaning 17 or 18 years old. So, this admiration could be perverted. But I'm sure her character is much older than 18, as are the other actors/actresses portraying these high school kids...right? Right?

2. Lyla Garrity's boyfriend, Jason Street, was the star quarterback who is now paralyzed after the first game of the season. I can't steal a cripples girlfriend. That's just wrong.

3. Another character already tried to steal Lyla, then kind of got beat up by the cripple. This character, well, the actor, was later on the cover of Men's Health Magazine with ripping muscles. I guess what I'm trying to say is if the cripple can kind of beat up that guy, he won't have much trouble with me.

Anyways...DCT = 7pm - 8pm Mountain Time...if American Idol has their elimination show at this time I am going to raise hell.

Thursdays: Grey's Anatomy - First off...I love the show. Second off...the name is misleading as we have yet to see any of Meredith Grey's Anatomy. The false advertisement almost makes me want to discontinue watching. But, it's the best show on TV. And, I think Izzy and I would make a perfect couple. I will outline why here:

1. She's a multi - millionaire. 8.7 million to be exact.

2. She's a doctor who will make a lot of money.

3. She's beautiful.

See...perfect match. I like all three qualities in a woman. DCT = 8pm - 9p Mountain Time.

Well, these are the four shows I'm watching now. If they aren't on, and the TV is, it's either sports or Hogan Knows Best...that is until The Simple Life 5 comes on. I love that show! It's hot.

I'm a genius

I have thought long and hard about it. I have come to the conclusion that the title of the last post - Brotherhood and the Travelin' Pants - is the most clever title I have produced as of yet. If you don't think it's clever, just think about those books written for teenage girls that most middle-aged women also read. I think there was even a movie. Clever play on words huh? Even more clever than my post entitled A Patriot Act, a title so clever I pat myself on the back every time I walk by the mail center where the picture from that post was taken. Incidentally my avoidance of the shop owner who took my picture has led to an awkward relationship, as for a couple of weeks after our "photo shoot" (no, not that kind of photo shoot) he would wave at me.

Also, I just re-read my post from a while back about flatulence. First Class. I laughed out loud several times. Man, I know humor.

I am writing all of this just to let you know that I am a genius. My geniusness (is this a word? I feel like a genius should know if this is a word or not, so I'm torn - but, geniuses can coin words too...I mean, honestly...Quirk? Einstein could have done so much better) has led me to realize that a true genius never stops learning. Incidentally, I, the genius, am not sure if my plural version of genius above is correct or if quirk is the word Einstein coined for that sciencey thing he did. Therefore, I will dive into learning by looking these things up later.

Anyways, this desire to learn has driven me to resolve two things. Well, actually just one, but I have two resolutions:

In 2007, I resolve to read for educational purposes two hours each day.

In 2007, I resolve to work out six times a week.

I have been able to do the reading, will join a gym soon to follow through with the working out. So, don't be surprised if I start showing up on Abercrombie and Fitch bags.

Anyways, I'm a genius. I'm also super humble. In fact, I would go so far to say that I am the most humble person that I know.

Brotherhood and the Travelin' Pants

Sorry for the delay in posting...I know I start out a lot of posts like this though so it's probably losing it's value.

Anyways, I had a wonderful time at home in TN. I got to spend lots of time with my family and got to see lots of friends too! It was great.

I am glad to be back in the swing of things here in Salt Lake...work and everything...and it's even better now that I have a vehicle here. I can go places without planning well in advance.

Before I get to the meat of this post...let me say. Go SEC. Am I ever wrong? Never.

So...

Me and my awesome brother - David - drove my truck from TN all the way out here to Utah. It was about a 24 hour drive on paper. At the end of the first day of driving I thought we were kicking that paper's butt, as we were a little ahead of schedule.

However, the second day killed all hopes of getting back too quickly, as about 10 minutes into the day of driving (after it snowed the night before) I got a little too confident and, while going between 45-50mph on the interstate, hit ice and fishtailed into the median. David, myself, the truck, and all the luggage were fine. The only thing that was hurt was our confidence and my pride. After getting towed out after a short wait...we were back on the road. There were a couple of tense spots, but not too bad. It's actually probably good that we set the tone for the day of being safe early. On the up side I got to feel what its like to get gawked at by passers by. Who am I kidding...I've always known what that's like. The ladies gawk all the time...

Anyways, the two solid days of driving with David gave us good brotherhood time. And both days I wore my travelin' pants.



The last several times I have had a day of travelin' - whether it be an airport or in car - I have worn these pants. Thus, I am decreeing that from the present and henceforth, any time I, Adam Burgett, travels, the Travelin' Pants shall be worn. Sharing them with my friends will not be necessary.