Friday, August 11, 2006

Worst...Book....Ever....

So, I just finished reading James Patterson's book The Lake House and shoowee, it stinks. More correctly, I had about 50 pages of the novel left and gave up. I write gave up because I decided that it was a crappy book within the first 50 pages, but kept reading to try to find some redeeming value...there was none, thus I gave up.









<--- Incorrectly titled The Lake House. It should be called The Outhouse

Man, I'm funny...




Let me paint you a picture of how ridiculous (Is that the right spelling? My dad told me how to spell this word but I forgot and I refuse to speel chekk) the book actually is. 6 of the 9 main characters are bird/human hybrids. Yes, you read right, little kids ranging from 4 to 12 who have wings, super good sight and hearing, and other birdlike qualities; not to mention their genius level IQs and super-human strength. Well, they apparently are being chased by some mad-scientist type super-hunk doctor who created his wife...really...he has a remote control where he can control what his wife does - he decides if she cooks, cleans, just sits in suspended animation, or performs other wifely duties. The doctor wants to kill the kids because they know too much about his experiments at The Hospital

I'm not sure how the book turns out but I'm sure the kids/birds end up safe in the end. The most ludicrous parts of the book that I can remember include the kids running away and building a nest, eating grubs, and collecting nuts they spot from half a mile in the air, a ten year old and a twelve year old making love - rather graphically described too, - the doctor working on a project that would trade human organs from a young healthy person to a dying person for the price of $100 Million Dollars, the doctor turning his wife off upon his arrival home after she tells him that dinner is ready - then turns her power back on before bedtime, and oh so many more...

I guess I should be fair and mention that this was the second book about the kid/birds. I can only be thankful that I didn't read the first book in the series. Actually, if I had read the first (or attempted to) I would have saved myself the pain of reading (most of) this book.

The real question if why James Patterson wrote the second one...

2 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

Not at all a fan of Patterson - gag. Anywho - I WAS going to come through Nashville - but ended up in Atlanta for 4 days because Kris' dad is in the hospital. Believe me, I would much rather circumstances allowed me to go through the GREAT city of Nashville!!

8:19 PM  
Anonymous ler said...

No shit, I was given this book as a "book on tape" and I was so amazed at how incredibly awful it was that I had to do a search for "james patterson worse book ever" and sure enough this blog entry popped up. I try not to read reviews before finishing a book but by about halfway through I just had to have a look. Sure enough, others agreed...this was one of the worse books ever written. It's good to see that you agreed!

11:18 PM  

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