Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Story Time 2!

Once upon a time a boy went out to eat with his family. When they arrive at the restaurant, the dining party waits for the host to seat them. After a couple of minutes, the host asks how many people would be eating. The Boy's mother answers "3." A Random Old Lady (referred to henceforth as ROL because ROLWISOTSHTSOABWWTSTBS is too long - that stands for Random Old Lady Who Is So Old That She Had To Sit On A Bench While Waiting Two Seconds To Be Seated - you'll understand the hostility in a second) says "that looks like a party of four to me!"

The Boy is perplexed and looks around to see if another random person is in the midst of his family trying to be part of their dinner party. Said random person does not exist. The Boy wonders what the ROL was talking about. The boys mother obviously realizes the ROL's train of thought and says "well, he is a pretty big boy."

The Boy then realizes what is going on and shoots the ROL a glance of death, to which she mistakes for a smile and politely smiles back. The boy makes a mental note to work on his glance of death in the mirror upon his return home. It was during this exchange of "smiles" that the boy contemplates drop kicking the ROL in the forehead. The boy does realize that ROL is seated so it should be easier to reach ROL's forehead. Then, losing focus the boy contemplates the definition of a drop kick - second guessing himself if this will be the most effective kick to perform on the ROL. Would a Roundhouse make his point better? What about the crane kick - it worked for the Karate Kid...

The Host says "please follow me," which interrupts the boys inner struggle. He follows the host and his family to the table with his tail between his legs, slightly embarrassed but slightly more regretful that he didn't point out ROL's own weight issues.

The End

For the record: I don't mind jokes about being big - I make many myself. From family and friends it's cool, funny, all that. From random strangers...not cool...Fat Old Lady...


Blogger Matthew said...

Too funny! don't be disrespecting your elders now, Adam.

3:47 PM  

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