Wednesday, December 06, 2006

My hometown is making national news again!

I was browsing through the national headlines in the Salt Lake Tribune this morning and I saw something about Nashville so I clicked it. In this simple motion of clicking the mouse I opened one of the most investigative, well-written journalistic articles that I have ever read.

It turns out that a plane flying to Dallas had to stop in Nashville because passengers smelled sulfur burning. Naturally, this sent warning signals to officials so they questioned the passengers. It turns out that one of them, a "lady", lit a match to cover the smell of her "flatulence." I put "flatulence" in quotation marks because it is the last word I would use to describe this action. I put "lady" in question marks because I am questioning this woman's "lady"ness. Not a very lady-like action. Especially on a crowded plane.

Actually, I know everyone has to pass gas every now and then - even ladies. Actually, everyone has to fart 14 times a day according to www.heptune.com/farts.html. (Lots of interesting info on this website) I question this number.

But why cover it up with match smell? Claim it or blame it! That's my philosophy. I can't even imagine the regret and embarassment the woman must have felt when she realized that the plane was emergency landing because she didn't want to feel the embarassment that comes along with a little gas dispersed among strangers. If she had it to do all over again I'm sure she would just do as I do - spin her head in many directions with a confused - "do you smell something? I think someone just passed gas" face after the incident hoping that people don't take all the motion for guilt. Either that or walk to the opposite end of the plane's lavatory, crop dusting on the way so each row thinks their neighbor dealt it.

Anyways, I wanted to write about this because, well, this is a topic that everyone loves to talk/write/read about. Farts are funny. They are as funny now as they were in elementary and middle school. Don't fool yourself. When anyone goes to a public restroom to wash their hands and hears a little trumpet noise from the stall they have to bite their bottom lip and think about that puppy that ran away. This is universal. I'm confident of this.

A little while back we had a group discussion with the youth group about lots of topics. One of the questions asked was "why are boy's so gross?" When asked for evidence that boys in fact are gross, a girl replied "well, boys like to fart, talk about farts, and laugh at it and stuff." My counter was that everyone likes to laugh at farts at some level. I know that even the most mature, distinguished people think that passing gas is funny. I know this. It's not up for argument. Before the night was over I had several Sr. High girls come up to me and say something to the effect of "I think farts are funny," even though they vehemently denied it earlier. Not that I needed the reenforcement. I already knew this.

I thought about taking this post even lower by adding pictures that I found on the internet. I decided against it.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Sarah W. said...

Hahaha! Actually, it claims in the article that I read that the "lady" had a medical problem, so, she was unable to control this bodily function. :-) Still funny, nonetheless! Hope you are having a great week!

2:27 PM  
Blogger gavin richardson said...

reminds me of a story... of which i would laugh at

2:48 PM  

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