Monday, December 11, 2006

International Superstar

Last week I loaded a program called Google Analytics that allows me to track how many people view my blog every day. Since it is designed for companies that actually need this data, as opposed to someone like me who merely wants to boost their own ego by seeing how many people read their blog, there are some pretty sweet bells and whistles. One thing you can do is see the location of the people looking at your page.

Of course, there is a splattering of people across the state of Tennessee reading surprise there. Then, of course there are those readers in the cities where fellow US-2s are, whom I assuming are my fellow US-2s. Kind of a weird thing is that I have quite a large, relatively speaking, readership in Delaware. Most of whom have visited more than once. I know no one in Delaware. I'm still doing an internal investigation if Delaware is still a viable state. Actually, I'm being foolish. Delaware was never a viable state.

Quite a few other cities and states are represented that I have no idea who they are, but that is expected since the internet is public domain and people can stumble across my blog by a web-search. FYI - if you google "high altitude" and "sausage balls" (with the quotation marks, without the word 'and') guess whose webpage is the number three hit...go ahead guess....yep, it's mine. Go ahead, try it and then link to my page...maybe with enough hits I can move up to number one.

But, it's not like I need that moral victory of stomping into the ground as the number one hit for a search of "high altitude" and "sausage balls," I mean, I already have readers in 17 states and 8 countries - including Egypt, China, the UK, Canada, Germany, the US, Greece, and India. Bam. That's right...I'm an international superstar.

So, like all international superstars I am having my PR staff make a list of things I will be doing in the near future. The list is still a work in progress, but I've had my people send me some of the major things that they have scheduled for me to improve my public image. Since you are all so loyal to me - especially my peeps in Delaware - I will share some of these things with you. Remember, these are coming from my PR staff so they might have legalistic sounding language. That just means I'm important.

Here it is:

Objective 1: Increase Adam's viability as an international superstar by holding tryouts for a trophy girlfriend. Swimsuit models will be encouraged to audition.

Objective 2: Set up scandal that will make international news to increase public knowledge/ face recognition. Possible scandals include nipple slip, or if more publicity is needed, a white collar crime.

Objective 3: Have Adam use his natural boyish charm to get acquitted from white collar crime (if necessary).

Objective 4: Update blog more regularly.

Well, that is the short list. I'm sure you will figure out some of the other objectives when you see me during the half time of the Super Bowl. (Not to ruin it, but that's when the nip slip is slated to take place!)


Post a Comment

<< Home